A 5GUMEXPERIENCE Day

My Auntie Munu, (I’m still not a hundred percent sure what her real name is) , always likes to call me a cheeky shit. Ever since I can remember, I remember her saying.

“Dale!”

“Yes, Auntie Munu!”

“You’re a cheeky shit.

We’d laugh. And my cousins would be jealous as they would see how Auntie Munu would stare at me, wishing I was her child. I had that with many of my friends too, It’s well documented that I peaked at 13.

Do you know who else is a cheeky shit?

5Gum are cheeky shits.

I was going on with my day, I had just completed an enthralling journey of All-Bran and honey, whilst flexing just enough, looking into the mirror in the kitchen, so that nobody knew that I was looking. This happens a lot more regularly than you know, I am very good at looking at myself with just enough momentum to stop as you walk into the room.

Then I put my shirt on and walk out, as you uncomfortably stare at me.

I’m rambling, but I’m excited. 5Gum are cheeky shits, right?

Why?

Because they’re acting like Teasy McTeaslesons’ and emailed this little diddy to me this morning.

The trouble with not knowing who the hell is coming does make me want it more. I hated the Ninja Turtles as a child, until Blake got Raphael, then I wanted to be a Ninja Turtle – I turned a set of roller skates into numchucks and cracked the skull of our neighbours son. Living there was awkward for some time. Especially considering my neighbour was a priest.

And if you are familiar with previous 5Gum parties you’ll be pretty familiar with the fact that you should make sure you do not miss a thing. How do you not miss a thing you ask?

Well I would suggest following 5GumSA on twitter and then dropping them a little like on Facebook.

You’ll have to badger them to find out who is coming, don’t forget to use #5GUMEXPERIENCE.

Who do you reckon it will be?

DCMYF

 

A True Boksburg Story

BadTennis burst onto the scene in 2011 building a reputation of excellence in journalism. Breaking massive stories on a blog that was seen as the “go-to” blog in Boksburg.

“If you wanted to know what was going down you would check out BadTennis,” noted thinker Roxy Louw, “as she muses about her former lover and possible sibling.

But few people know that BadTennis was a band, so underground, even super-hipsters had not heard of them.

Very few people even know that before the fall out, there was another man in the BadTennis team.

They were two inseparable humans. Like Pete and Carl. Intertwined in a common love for music and eating Kentucky, naked. Makem16 and BadTennis_ lived like no other people. Edgy, on the pulse…underground.

Ying to yang a band that could change music forever.

“But it wasn’t meant to be,” says respected computer musician, Liver. “I loved their sound, man. They were angelic, like a mystic muffin off an orient express train. They burnt through tracks like they had no respect for sound or the Beatles.” He sighs, looks up at the air and muses, “I wanted to bone them.”

Kirsty Sharman, a nobody from superherostuff.co.za , talks about how she thought the music would last forever. A tear forms as she sits and muses about the time she first heard them. “They made everything in the world sexier, wonderful even. once, while listening to ‘When A Stranger Pauls’, I tried to make love to a bobble head. A dark time in my life.” She giggles as she taps the needle from her syringe. “They created a new genre, it was so real, people called it – life.”

In the background you can hear Kirsty’s older brother, Mike, humming ‘Good Looking Hobo.’

Thing’s weren’t always so bad…

Very little is known about the man in the photo, but rumours have surface that he tried to start a band, This is the earliest known photo of BadTennis and Makem16.

BadTennis: Stern and manly.

Makem: Needy.

A theme that would carry on for their relationship.

One of the earliest known photos of the guys together, this was Punch, a Kiss tribute band, that played Kiss songs – better than Kiss.

That awkward moment, when you can’t keep your eyes off a professional sportsman.

Makem was getting pushed out further and further, but he kept trying to get the band together. Or just be near BadTennis. It was very scary for all of those involved.

This is the last known photo of the two together. It is rumoured that Makem, may have even fell pregnant with a human to try and claw his way back into Badtennis’ life, he couldn’t. Badtennis didn’t know a lot but he knew men couldn’t have babies. 4 out of 5 studies proved it.

Finally in a last ditch effort, Makem released previously unheard Badtennis songs.

They are here.

Now?

Makem dances alone.

 

DCMYF

 

Music Club (a working title)

Life is mysterious and before you think I am about to preach about taking each day and enjoying life to the full…stop, this is not about that at all. I quite enjoy the little things, even though the large things make me happy too. Like mocking people, that shit makes me happier me when the credits fell on I, Robot.

We look forward to the safe return of this child.

And no, I know after that sentence I come off sounding like I have a syndrome, which is not up.  It’s just from time to time we all are allowed to feel a little philosophical.  Hell, consider this a conversation between a nearly-hipster with a Greek breath of death and a reformed homeless person at 3 in the morning, about how music can change your life.

 

New Listen, New Love. Alex Clare

The guy’s voice is musical shrapnel off a sex grenade.

It’s not too often that a new artist, comes up and bites my musical mommy/daddy button making me feel intense love. How I found him is irrelevant, but his song “Too Close” was featured in an advertisement for Internet Explorer 9

 

My 5 best: 3eb.

Do you like music, Dale?

No, I am a dead human being. With feelings so little, that bigger feelings steal their lunch money, desperately seeking affection.

I have long battled with the idea of my favourite band. Noel Gallagher and Pete Doherty have had a long relationship with my eardrums. I am not a gifted musician. But I know words, I know how words shift into each other, twisting and turning into a maze of beautiful timing that leaves you in a state calibrating at Dylan – a man who created the magical world of metaphorical verse and melody.

 

Walk off the Earth, salvage your soul

Almost selfishly, I didn’t want to share this, I thought that, if many people were to view this and they were at a house party where people were sharing music knowledge I could pull this gem out like that little number you girls keep when running around an ex’s playground – hoping he will be there.

And, I have held on this far. But I am coming exceptionally close to killing this. I have listened to this more than the average 19 year old boy quoted “Old School” lines in 2002.  But at the time we had seen Blue and to be honest, we had seen that he was glorious.

So what do I know about Walk Off The Earth without doing any research? Click on the link and you’ll find their .Bandcamp page.

I guess they are a collective group of very talented musicians who cover songs. The song that I am to share with you today is a cover of Gotye (who I also know nothing about.) But after checking out the YouTube channel I found that I enjoyed most of the covers and they are getting a shite load of love on the internet at the moment.

The lyrics are insane, and as we all know I am a sucker for a little duet and a girl that can sing. If you have been through a little place called heartbreak and the twinning of trying to build bridges with water cascading through and under them, you will relate to this.

Without saying more, if Hitler had listened to this, he would be at peace and we would know very little about Winston Churchill.

Before I let you do that, thanks go to @MegPascoe for getting me onto this, to be fair it was about time considering the amount of new music I have been introducing her to. Also I am starting to think that her cooking prowess is as real as Milli Vanilli, as all I have seen are images and my taste buds have nothing to rave about – much like all of us in the nineties.

Somebody that I used to Know – Walk Off The Earth

The video is also exceptional.

I guess that in saying that I should share Gotye’s Original. After all it is his creation.

I know, right? Shit so good you’d ask for diarrhea!

DCMYF

 

2.5 seconds Out the Gutter

I was literally famous for 2.5 seconds, I was. I have somewhere near 12.5 seconds left and pretty sure that I don’t want them at all. As a child I had always thought that I was caught somewhere between the gutter and the stars. A place we all, as misguided youth, find ourselves.

I wanted recognition for nothing too, This story is nothing about that and a lot about how I managed to weasel 2 seconds into a South African Music video that I’m certain none of you had ever seen.

I was working in the tobacco industry with what some might perceive as the coolest job around, I drove a sick little sports-car that was only permitted to go at 120km/h and partied my ass off making faux-friends along the way. Brutally fobbing off people and accepting others because they had the right look for our parties. (massive exaggeration – we took who we could and invited the belters in the hold-thumbs coming right approach.)

I was at the Potch Rag vibe in the V.I.P area and wanted to promote music anyway I can through  the new means I had found as a rep. Went to chat to Karma of Henry Eight fame, she was out from the U.S. She said speak to that chick and pointed to the tallest human I had ever seen, ultimately someone very-definitely born on a long weekend. She had light bob-like hair with very dark undertones.(if a hairdresser could explain that better I would be chuffed.)

Long-story farking short, I developed a nice relationship with the band that was then Love Jones and changed to Stealing Love Jones some time after. The relationships have since broken down for a number of reasons. Mostly my fault. I just liked the look of the drummers former-fiancée. Forgive me for my astounding taste.

 

Win one of 1000 Tickets

I enjoy a good party. I also like Dont Party, and if you like Dont Party go to www.dontparty.co.za and get yourselves some free tickets to a party. The nice thing is Thursday is a public holiday so consuming won’t be much of an issue.

Also let’s chat about the Celladoor lads, they’re shit hot too.

For more info on the event crack the event here.

 

The Sound of your Breath in the Cold

Proper weather here in the Arctic/London/Johannesburg, I actually just found a polar bear making love to a penguin in my crotch whilst a hunter had a gun pointed right there, his rifle bent and pointed directly at him because he didn’t have the right ammunition.

We had 120 odd views on the blog yesterday, just because I punted the great work that four guys did, and rightly so. Redsockfriday have been so powerful on social media that the following they have is trusting and have a look at pretty much anything they recommend, which is an unveiling to the non-believers of the powers of social media as a valuable peer-to-peer recommendation and the obvious fact that we decide what information we want to receive.

This oke is Chuffed

I also promised a short story once I hit over 100 views, look out for that later in the day.   

 

Planet Joy

You’ll have to understand that I’m not particularly fond of South African bands and their “let’s get shit sold asap” attitude. If we sit back and be completely honest with ourselves if a band did not have a CY number plate at some point in their lives they really aren’t worth listening to.

My South African pop knowledge is direr than any knowledge I have of István Bethlen. So I won’t go into that.  My biggest issue is that so many truly great South African bands fall by the way side because they don’t ass-skate themselves to the general populace – Orkney, Benoni, Danville,Witbank is a nice example of the taste testers of the underworld, thanks to your hero-worship of satans ballsacks who wear platforms and vests, we are now consumed by these artists pumping out albums faster than a mullet-shaping by my neighbour in Boksburg.

Help A Tool Find his Baby Tonight.

Bands who put on make-up and dress the same. – You damn well know who you are and what you have done.

Rant.OVER.